You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
