I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
