is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
