i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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