im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's rum buckets o'clock
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
