If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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