If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
