My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
