did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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