Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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