How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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