She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
