i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
