And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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