we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
