I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
