the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
