did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
