How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
this hospital has no fireball
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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