Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
