I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
