that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
