he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
