so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
