Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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