highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
