my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
