Buhtt sex?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
