This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my being single is dangerous.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize