We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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