I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
