Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
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