Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
