See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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