just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
