i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
