Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
