Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I pour the whiskey from now on
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
