My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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