Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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