He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
