I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
How's work?
Spinning.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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