Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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