Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
