He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
