i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
