Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
