The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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