i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
