I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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