If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
